Have you ever lived in fear? Fear of saying the wrong thing? fear of doing the wrong thing? Fearing for your life? Fear is something I have lived with for the last 10 years, for over a decade now my life has been STUCK!

Around year 7 out of the 10 I was given an escape route, and I for the first time since I could remember I felt free, I felt at peace. Over the next 3 years I really worked on healing myself, changing my mindset. I started my business, which took off quite quickly. I was happy! I felt in control of my life, things were good. Then suddenly my biggest fear was now going to be in my life again, I remember having a panic attack and crying uncontrollably.

What should I do?? I decided to take what I believed was control of the situation and talked myself into believing that this person could have changed, this relationship could work. If we take things back to the beginning with no pressure, we had some hope. In hindsight I realise this decision was made from fear, fear of what may happen if I did not make the decision I had made.

Very early I realised that there was no change, the lies, possessive behavior was still there. There was this level of entitlement rather than accountability which was making me feel unhappy. Now I’m in a situation where I am slowly losing control, my voice is not being heard. I can feel myself reverting to the ‘old’ me and it’s making me unhappy.

This situation went on for the next 16 months, me feeling unhappy in my own home as it’s no longer my peace my space has been invaded. It was a milestone birthday year for me, but I was unable to feel happy or excited due to my current situation and the constant threats to ruin my plans. Depression hit me, and I was just feeling so low and kept blaming myself. Early in the year I met someone who became my friend, someone who brought a little sunshine into my cloudy life. He helped me to see myself in a different light for the first time in my life!!

This person was someone who I would never have looked at as a potential before, but here I was falling….. Here comes fear again… Do I be honest about my life or do I just say nothing.

Me being me and wanting to be wanted for me and all I am I was honest. Unfortunately this was to my detriment as although he helped me in so many ways, I was also left feeling like I wasn’t worth very much. This leaves me fearing being honest with potentials I may meet in the future. Then it finally all came crashing down the day after my Birthday…

Over the next 3 months I would be assaulted, harassed and stalked daily. FEAR was here again!! Fear of walking out of my front door due to threats of violence, fear of driving down the road as he would be waiting for me on corners, fear of being embarrassed due to him calling people and acting erratic, fear of being judged by others if caught on a bad day.

I sometimes wonder how I smile most days, how I can continue working full time, being a mother, running my own business. I have a lot going on and even though I have been that person to many, not many have stepped up for me.

I have honestly been at the lowest point in my life, I fear breaking down as I am unsure if I would be able to get back up…..


#IAM A Survivor

*Trigger Warning: this post mentions miscarriage*

Depression and anxiety can hit you at any stage of life. For me, I was pregnant with my second child; a rainbow baby after a loss that crippled my entire outlook on pregnancy. All considered, you would’ve thought I’d be ecstatic, but nope, I felt quite the opposite…

Before I miscarried, I took pregnancy for granted. I didn’t have to try to get pregnant with my first born and I was blessed with a relatively straightforward pregnancy (albeit the morning sickness lasted much longer than desired!). However, my second child involved more planning; not only was I broody, but I wanted my eldest to have a sibling and three and a half years seemed like the largest age gap I wanted my children to have. So, it worried me when I stopped taking birth control and I didn’t get pregnant straight away. I was scared. What if something was wrong? Were the maternal issues within my family hereditary? Thankfully, these worries were eased after a few months when my pregnancy test was confirmed positive. The doctor checked for an ectopic pregnancy because I hadn’t missed a period yet and was occasionally spotting, but the scare was over…or so I thought. 

Three days later, I got out of bed and felt something dripping down my leg. I looked down and saw red. Bright red. FRESH BLOOD. Tears fell down my face. With each tear I felt my hopes and dreams for my new baby, my daughter, and my family slip away too. Almost immediately, I started to blame myself. What did I do wrong? Was it my fault? I begged and I pleaded with the hospital for a check-up but there were no emergency appointments for the next five days. I needed hope that my little baby still had a heartbeat. Instead, I was told, “what will happen, will happen”. 

I prayed. I prayed so hard. I begged and I pleaded with God too, making so many promises and covenants to Him if he saved my baby. I thought the bleeding had finally stopped. Another three days passed and I sobbed my entire heart out in the toilet. Clots. In that short period of time, I had googled enough to know clots were not a good sign. It was the beginning of the end for my baby. 

Fast forward to a month later, it was five days into the New Year and I had a positive pregnancy test. However, this time I wasn’t elated. In fact, I was scared, if not petrified. I no longer had confidence in my body’s ability to carry a child. As much as I wanted my baby, months went by and I could not allow myself to be excited because I expected something to go wrong. Everything felt too close to home and it didn’t help that my friend had a stillborn midway through my pregnancy. So, even till the day she was born, I found myself holding my breath every time I went to the bathroom. I was confident I was going to see red. 

My anxiety continued to increase. Things had been too good so far and I was waiting for something bad to happen. I couldn’t sleep at night because I thought, “what if someone breaks into my house whilst I’m asleep and kills my daughter”. I tried to be rational; I would tell myself the house is locked and secure…but what if somebody was hiding under the bed and I forgot to check? I needed to stay awake to listen out. I needed to stay awake to keep us safe. I needed to stay awake. Sometimes, I convinced myself I could hear footsteps and ran to my daughter’s room to check on her. There I was, heavily pregnant, unable to sleep because I was listening out for invisible threats. 

The catastrophising became worse still. What if I get into a car crash driving to work? What if I die and leave my daughter motherless? Is her Dad capable of raising her like I can? So many dark thoughts filled my mind. This anguish was compounded by the loss of my Grandad on the day of my 20-week scan. Yet I didn’t realise just how much my anxiety was crippling me. I stayed home after work and on weekends. I had no energy to clean. I didn’t want to socialise with anyone outside of my house. All I wanted to do was hold my first daughter tight and not let go.

Everything seemed fine after having my second daughter. My heart melted every time my eldest held her little sister or when she’d help her daddy change the little one’s nappy. As expected, on her first day home, I did the customary “stare” while she slept to make sure she was still breathing. But this continued and intensified. After breastfeeding (which, in itself, impacts your body and sleeping pattern), I would stay awake to make sure she continued breathing. I stopped doing housework. I only cooked quick meals. I avoided and despised going out in public. I stayed in my bedroom at any opportunity. I wanted to stay in my bubble, where I felt safe. The problem being that, even in my bubble, I didn’t feel protected. Something bad was going to happen. I could feel it. 

I carried on living like this for two years. That was two years too long. I realised I couldn’t continue living in a constant hypersensitive state of fight or flight. It was exhausting. I was exhausted. My doctor mentioned the words anxiety and depression, and then recommended cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). Like many others known to mental health services, I was disappointed by the waitlist for psychological treatment. I carried on fighting that invisible demon that only I could see for another year as I waited for CBT. But I no longer wanted to be a victim of this condition. Enough was enough. I knew I needed to actively take part in my healing journey if I wanted to emerge from the darkness. So, I started to meditate, which at first, felt weird. Eventually, not only did meditation help improve my sleep but it offered me clarity on my life. I was finally able to see through the lingering fog that once overwhelmed me. 

Then, I paired my meditation with positive affirmations. Every day when I woke up, I looked in the mirror and repeated aloud, “I am safe. I am blessed. I have everything I need to live a happy life”. I’m not going to lie, actively changing my mindset was not easy. In fact, it was very hard. It was difficult to contradict everything I had become accustom to, if not accepted. Indeed, there were some days where it felt easier to stay as I once was, but I had to remind myself that it was not healthy for me or my family. Eventually, going to work became easier. Going to sleep became easier. Going to the park became easier. Living my life, being the best mum I could be, became easier. Slowly but surely, I learned to accept life for what it was and learned to only focus on what I could change. Now, nearly eight years down the line, I am standing up to say it will become easier. 

Focusing on my mindset allowed me to be in control of both my mind and my life. Yes, I am human and sometimes I can feel the depression worming its way back in or the anxiety creeping up on me and, you know what, that’s okay. My experiences have made me wiser and now, I can identify those negative thoughts and feelings slithering into my subconscious. Now, I have all the tools I need to get back to where I need to be mentally. Now, I am more resilient.

LUV Ladies is a plethora of women with different experiences and different coping mechanisms. We’re here to support women and offer guidance on whatever they have been or are going through. We want to listen to your story, uplift you when you’re low, and provide that space for you to vent when needed. No matter what life has thrown at you, we’re here to help you through. We’re here for you. 

Our Positive Affirmation Book is now available via www.amazon.co.uk/IAM-Afirmations-Miss-Sara-Maynard/dp/B08CFSNBMG/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=sara+maynard&qid=1594569962&sr=8-1 It contains positive affirmations to support you on your (healing) journey. The ebook is available to order on our website: www.listenupliftventcic.com the paperback includes an interactive journal that uses CBT techniques to help you identify your triggers, take ownership of your feelings and enable you to become an active member on your path. Ultimately, this book aims to assist you on the road of becoming the best version of yourself. 

#IAM not just an illness

#IAM better for the experiences I’ve had

#IAM Blessed

#IAM Grateful


Please leave comments below and sign up for our mailing list!!

Please join our Facebook Community:

Like Page: https://www.facebook.com/listenupliftvent/ 

Private Women’s Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/186026395139011/ 


Live Your Truth!!

How many of you are truly living in your truth??

Do you use social media as a way to escape your truth?

I believe that we are living in a time where we are afraid to be ourselves, in case we offend someone or in fear of judgement. Many of us are not able to speak about how we may be feeling or thinking as we believe our opinion may not be welcomed.

Whether it be a friendship, a relationship with your significant other or a family member, many of us at some point have suppressed how we really feel or want to please others.

I always saw myself as a strong, outgoing, take no nonsense people person. But what I realised is that I was actually a people pleaser!! Wanting to be that good, reliable friend, be the girl my significant other wanted me to be, the best sister. Yet I found myself constantly in situations where I was unable to truly express how I felt without being judged in some way.

Over the years these situations continued to occur and I began to feel really low about myself and doubt the kind of person I believed I was.


I knew deep down that I did love me, I was just allowing other peoples thoughts and opinions cloud my judgement about how I felt about ME! When in reality it was just their opinions and not always the right one. I know I have my faults, show me someone who doesn’t have any,

It was at this point I realised I had to REALLY look into myself, who I truly am and what I stand for. I looked at my positives and my negative traits, looking where I could make improvements to better me to be a better version of ME.

I now and forever will continye to LIVE MY TRUTH!! be more aware of my negatives, my triggers and reactions. This allowed me to gain back power and no one can no longer use my negative traits against me as their opinions no longer affect me.

Please join our Private Women’s Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/186026395139011/

Please like our Facebook Community Page 




When we think of mental health, most of us imagine someone who is maybe unkempt, acting crazy, talking to themselves or perhaps someone who they see suffering from a drug or alcohol problem.

Never, when we think of mental health and what a sufferer may look like would we think they look like ME!!

I suffered with my mental health for many years. It took me to look deep into my life journey and personal healing for me to see where/when it all began for me.

I used to get up most days and have to live a life that I was unhappy living, live a life where I felt unloved, a life where I felt like I could not truly be happy due to bad decisions I’ve made and the feeling of not being accepted for who I am.

I was in debt, lonely, a single mother with only a few people in my life, with very little support.

What made things even harder for me was that I felt like I was unable to truly express how I felt for various reasons…. The domestic abuse I suffered and the lack of support in my life had me feeling suicidal at times. There were days I would be at work and the tears would just flow down my face as I sat at my desk because I was just so unhappy in my life.

Over the years I supported all my ‘friends’ through their hard times but found it hard to find anyone who was there for me when I was in my lowest and darkest place.

I started to express myself on my Facebook, but then I found that I would get judged by people who thought I was looking for attention and question the integrity of what I was saying. At that point I was at a total loss as I felt I had nowhere to turn, harbouring all this pent-up anger and nowhere to vent about it as I felt no one could empathise or relate.

It was at this point that I decided to create a private women’s group on Facebook, knowing there were women out there who felt the same way as me. I wanted to create a space where other women and myself could feel safe to speak their truth, without fear of judgement.

By creating this safe space, I was able to truly vent when I was feeling low, at home and alone with no one to turn to. I now had a group of women who would be there to uplift me at the touch of a button. The community of women started to grow, and it showed me, that sometimes we go through things and think we are alone but there are so many women going through similar situations and it is nice to have someone who could relate.

Since 2017, LUV Ladies have been supporting each other, and every week the group continues to grow. If you would like to become part of the LUV Ladies community, please click the link below (women only)




Please join our Private Women’s Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/186026395139011/ 


#LUVing Yourself

At the age of 36, it hit me that I was not as happy in my skin as I had always believed!! For years I have hidden behind weaves and wigs and have NEVER actually embraced my true beauty.

One day I said to myself by the time I’m 40 (2022) I no longer wanted to be wearing wigs, so in September 2018 I started my loc journey. I decided it was time to start my journey of truly being myself. 

When I was 7 months into my loc journey it hit me, I have been covering my face with hair in some way for so long now I didn’t like what I was seeing when I looked in the mirror.

I had days where I would wear my natural hair out at work, and I would get complimented on how nice my hair looked, how nice I looked BUT the thing was deep down I was not ‘feeling myself’ at all!! I was not feeling as confident as I would when I would be wearing my wig.

From a young age I was teased about having a big forehead, and it wasn’t until 2014 I started to wear hairstyles that did not include a fringe/side fringe, basically covering my face.

I then realised that when I was wearing my wigs, they would be fitted slightly over my hair line, meaning some of my forehead would be covered. Therefore, still not living in my TRUTH and not really loving myself. 

In October 2019 I went on holiday and decided I would wear my natural hair out in the daytime and my wig at night. On the first day of the holiday during a boat party rave I spoke to a few people as you do. That very same night at the next event I had a few people who I spoke to during the day try and chat me up not realising that I was the same person they spoke to earlier that day. This proved how different I looked when I was wearing my wig and confirmed that I was more attractive to the opposite sex when wearing my wigs.

After returning from holiday I felt quite self-conscious once again about my hair and the way I looked without my wig, how I looked in my natural state.

I was looking through my holiday pictures, and my pictures without my wig was VERY hard, as all I could see was my forehead. I didn’t look like how I normally look; my outfits didn’t look as good as they usually would, and this was all because I didn’t love my HAIR!!

I made a conscious decision to start wearing my hair out more often, I needed to get used to what I TRULY looked like. Every day I would look at myself in the mirror and say #IAMBEAUTIFUL #ILOVEMYHAIR #IAMLOVED I would repeat these affirmations at least 3 times.

I am honestly in such a difference place when it comes to my hair and how I look at myself. I LOVE MY HAIR!! I am now 1 year & 10 months loc’d and I am loving the journey.

Saying those positive affirmations daily truly helped me to believe what I was saying and how I felt about myself. Listen Uplift Vent CIC truly believe positive affirmations can have a real positive impact on your mindset, which in turn can have a positive impact on your life.

LUV will be releasing a #IAM Positive Affirmation book which will help and support you to embed a positive affirmation process into your life. The book will be available to purchase through Amazon on the 9th July 2020.

Please see pictures below of me with my loc’s and with my wig.




Please leave comments below and sign up for our mailing list!!

Please join our Facebook Community:

Like Page: https://www.facebook.com/listenupliftvent/ 

Private Women’s Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/186026395139011/